McFly vs. Bueller: Who's the Coolest?

by Brett Parker

When I was in college, our student newspaper once conducted a reader poll as to who was cooler: Marty McFly from Back to the Future or Ferris Bueller from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. What an awesome debate, I thought, for these two were undoubtedly the coolest teenage characters to ever grace the silver screen, but who would come out on top in a showdown? They certainly make for worthy adversaries: both are confident and charming young men who seek adventure and have a gift for twisting situations towards their favor. They obtain admiration and popularity from the environments they occupy and they know how to outsmart the negative forces out to destroy them. They both have an exceptionally wise and thoughtful outlook on life and, probably most admirable of all, they possess a fierce loyalty towards their girlfriends and best buds. Both are embodiments of a definitive teenage cool that has transcended the 80s and appears to be timelessly celebrated by moviegoers of all generations.

I smiled over the debate as I read about it in the paper, yet I never officially cast a vote for anyone (I was busy tending to my studies, parties, and women). As time went on, I found myself mentioning this debate whenever the subject of movies was brought up and found that’s its one of those debates that really knows how to stir people’s opinions. People not only enthusiastically smile at the idea of such a clever debate but they passionately defend their choices with the intellectual zest of a film scholar. One could say it has become the Obama-McCain debate of the cinephile world. It’s also one of the most polarizing of movie debates: these are two of the most beloved movie characters from two of the most beloved movies from the 80s, how can you possibly choose one over the other?

I recently stumbled upon my definitive choice after a peculiar moment on a Sunday afternoon. I was having a picnic in a local park with a friend and we began having a random conversation about random movies. Out of nowhere, my friend sprung a wallop of a question, “who do you think is the coolest movie character ever?” What a question to spring on a cinephile! There’s no way one could come to a thoughtful, educated answer without doing a ton of research beforehand! Think of all the Steve McQueen or Frank Sinatra movies they’d have to review! Plus, you’d really have to define what type of cool is being discussed. Are we talking the dapper and debonair cool of Cary Grant or the youthful and rebellious cool of James Dean? How about the knowing slickness of George Clooney or the rugged roguishness of Johnny Depp? An entire book can be devoted to such a question! As a true lover of film, I despise leaving such questions unanswered. You have to give them something other than “I don’t know.” So in the moment I found that my generic, off-the-top-of-my-head answer was, simply, “Marty McFly.”

It’s really not hard to see how I could arrive at such a choice. Who wouldn’t want to be a skateboarding, guitar-playing, gun-slinging time traveler? To a kid, McFly’s appeal lies in his adventurous lifestyle, for he could pop up in any time period and still figure out how to come out on top. As a grown-up, one realizes that McFly exudes ideas of confidence and optimism that can be useful to abide by. He has a breezy charm and ironic wit he displays as he marches forward in hectic situations. One could argue that Ferris Bueller possesses the same qualities, and he does (save for the whole time traveling thing). But I would have to give Marty McFly the edge in this battle for the coolest: McFly simply has more adventures, more talents, a bigger heart, and even though this might sound harsh and irrelevant, Michael J. Fox is way cooler than Matthew Broderick in general.

Both McFly and Bueller appear to be masters of their grand environments. Bueller was able to charm and scheme his way around the great city of Chicago and do things that most tourists can only dream about. It’s not every teenager who can skip school to steal a Ferrari (technically), worm into a high-class restaurant, catch a homerun at Wrigley Field, and crash a giant parade float while lip-synching to The Beatles, without getting caught! While Chicago is definitely a grand environment for a teen icon to prove himself, McFly undoubtedly had grander environments to work with. Throughout the entire Back to the Future trilogy, McFly found himself in Hill Valley, California throughout several time periods. Whether it was the sock-hoppin’ 1950s, his home era of the 80s, the ironically weird 2015, or even the Wild West, Marty McFly was easily the man of his domain, charming the locals and defeating the haters. Despite strange culture shocks, McFly always gained his footing and carried on with confidence. Granted, McFly had sequels to further establish his coolness, yet his mastery of both the 80s and the 50s in the first film is enough to outshine Bueller in this aspect.

Bueller undoubtedly is a teen filled with peculiar talents. In attempting to achieve the perfect day off, he shows off skills in computer hacking, role playing, disguises, performing for crowds, and long-distance running. Impressive, yet not as impressive as Marty McFly’s skills Before the age of 18, McFly appears to be an expert at skateboarding, playing the guitar, shooting a gun, riding a horse, spying, escaping gangs and terrorists, and matchmaking. Plus, any teen who could time travel really has it over all other teens really. But what if the roles were reversed? McFly could most definitely work his way around downtown Chicago, but could Ferris Bueller have handled himself in the Wild West and 2015? I have my doubts.

A character’s likeability oftentimes depends on the likeability of the actor playing them. Perhaps McFly has the edge in my mind because I find Michael J. Fox to be a cooler actor than Matthew Broderick. Broderick was pitch perfect as Ferris Bueller and to this day it’s his best performance. Yet since that role, Broderick appears to have fashioned himself on playing geeky cornballs. He’s never really had a role as smooth or as stylish as Bueller since then. Fox, meanwhile, continued on the path of witty charmer throughout his career and could still probably play a character as cool as McFly. Judging by their careers and acting choices, Bueller was probably a carefully-constructed performance from Broderick while McFly seems to have sprung from Fox’s already appealing charisma.

Don’t think for one second that I have some kind of disdain for Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. I find the film one of the best teen movies ever made and John Hughes’ best film, hands down. The film is a cheerful, feel-good experience that exudes wonderful lessons about enjoying life. Critic Richard Roeper has casually referred to the film as the anti-suicide movie, an honor I find very appropriate. Ferris Bueller himself is a character of enormous style and appeal whose wisdom and humor is of infinite value to moviegoers like me. His ideals on living life to the fullest and treating yourself right were a grand inspiration to me as a child and I have always carried them around with me in the back of my mind. “Life moves pretty fast, “he tells the audience, “if you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it!” That’s practically my motto.

Bueller is aces all around, but unfortunately, he’s #2 to Marty McFly, the undisputed king of teenage movie cool (sorry James Dean, you didn’t have a hover board or a life preserver). McFly has taught countless moviegoers how to stand up to haters, fight for your friends and family, and always consider the future of your actions. It’s such a close debate for me, but I know in my heart that McFly is my ambassador of cool. Now, is he the coolest movie character ever? That’s a question for another article I’d seriously have to research. I’d have to give serious consideration to cats like Danny Ocean, Roger Thornhill, James Bond, and Captain Jack Sparrow before I gave McFly the prize. If nothing else though, I’ll tell you this: if you live to be even half the cool cats McFly and Bueller were, then you my friend were on a really dope path!