A Far From 'Perfect' Thriller

by Brett Parker

I wish I could throw the first half of A Perfect Getaway right in the garbage and just keep the second half. As this sun-drenched thriller begins to unravel, we find ourselves dredging through stock characters, corny dialogue, and pathetic attempts at self-reflexive cleverness. Then the film reveals a big plot twist that not only re-defines everything that has gone before but actually elevates this lightweight thriller to something somewhat significant. Of course, it would’ve been better if the film didn’t practically announce that it had a major twist in its plot, but the surprise almost saves this movie from being unnecessary junk food.

Steve Zahn and Milla Jovovich star as Cliff and Sydney, a seemingly happy pair of newlyweds who are on their honeymoon in Hawaii. They decide to kick-off their holiday by undergoing a hiking trail on the island of Kauai. While on the trail, they encounter Nick (Timothy Olyphant) and Gina (Kiele Sanchez) another happy couple looking for some hiking fun. Despite some apparent oddness in their personalities, Cliff and Sydney decide it’d be worthwhile to let this seemingly normal couple join them on the trail. In tow way behind on the trail is Kale (Chris Hemsworth) and Cleo (Marley Shelton), an unsettling and temperamental couple that makes everyone nervous.

While on the trail, Cliff discovers on his cell phone that a murderer is on the loose in Hawaii. News tickers report that a couple was viciously murdered on the island of Oahu and have neither been captured or identified. This causes Cliff and Sydney to be instantly suspicious of the other couples on the trail and they seriously ponder if they’ll get off the trail alive.

The good news is that this is one of the more dialogue-driven popcorn thrillers I’ve seen in quite some time; most of the film’s blood and violence is reserved for the final 15 minutes. The bad news is that none of the characters really say anything worth listening to. The dialogue tries to present itself as hip and clever by referencing other movies, but it comes off as cheap and annoying. The characters speak of Natural Born Killers, Cool Hand Luke, and Nicholas Cage, and while these are never boring subjects, we find ourselves rolling our eyes over these fanboy musings. These pop culture name checks are so clunky they make Clarence from True Romance sound like Hamlet. And speaking of Tarantino, it’s worth noting that his Death Proof is the self-reflexive slasher flick to end all self-reflexive slasher flicks. This film’s dialogue is embarrassing compared to Tarantino’s script.

Another one of the script’s annoying techniques is to literally highlight screenwriting formulas as the plot unfolds them right in front of us. Cliff informs Nick that he works as a Hollywood screenwriter, so the two hold conversations in which they speak of screenwriting conventions that just so happens to show up in this film. At one point, Nick speaks of how the second act in most movies always contains a plot twist, just when the second act of this film marches towards its twist! Cliff speaks of red herrings at one point, then we see a suspicious character wearing a red bandana! What do you think his plot function is? It can be excruciating to watch a film that thinks it’s cleverer than it actually is. And the characters drop so many hints about twists and surprises that it almost implodes the whole movie’s agenda. A fellow hiker on the trail tells the others how a path has “many twists and turns up ahead” and it almost makes you shout to the screen: “I get it! I get it! Get to the damn twist already!” Instead of teasing us with hints of a twist, its better to pretend like there's no twist at all.

So the big plot twist finally arrives, and get this: it turns out to be a clever little swindle. It’s devilishly fun and actually makes the film rise to a higher entertainment value. I’d call it surprising, but I suspect smart moviegoers will probably be able to flesh it out. All you really have to do is apply the Sherlock Holmes method of highlighting the seemingly illogical and ask if it could logically happen. It doesn’t cheat, only if you can buy the idea that some serial killers are more dedicated method actors than most Oscar winners. If there’s one smart thing the surprise does, it’s to make the audience reflect on the way characters are presented in slasher thrillers. Our personal judgments on specific characters can easily be tilted by suggestive camera angles, music, and their individual screen time. A Perfect Getaway does a wicked play on these methods and we’re quite amused at how the film allows the characters to play out.

Despite the shaky script, A Perfect Getaway does hold an efficient level of competence in other areas. The lead actors are convincing every step of the way, even when we think they’re supposed to be one thing then they turn out to be another. Director David Twohy (Pitch Black) keeps things simple until he employs effective split-screen techniques and sped-up zooms in the film’s finale. These techniques can be pointless and frustrating in other films, but here they help heighten the excitement of the film’s violent conclusion. And even though this Hawaiian tale was mostly filmed in Puerto Rico, the location work feels real and gives us something exotic to relish.

I’m really on the fence about whether or not to recommend this flick. It yearns for exceptional thriller heights, yet its still just disposable fare. I obviously relished the film’s big twist, but it’d feel like a chore to sit through all that cheesy dialogue again. I suppose if you usually enjoy the actors here and you’re in the mood for B-movie thrills, this could work for you. I think the only way I’ll ever watch this again is if it shows up on late night TV. Maybe.