'G.I. Joe': A Real Lightweight Hero

by Brett Parker

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra was inspired, among other things, by a cartoon series from the 80s and this big screen update makes little effort to rise above that intelligence level. Basically, Paramount Pictures has spent over $100 million to make a giant episode of an old cartoon. There are video game adaptations with more cinematic weight than this film. If you were a big fan of the original series, there’s a good chance you’ll dig this movie. If you’ve never seen or heard of G.I. Joe before, it’s probably best to keep it that way.

G.I. Joe chronicles the endless battles between a group of good guys called the Joes and an army of villains who call themselves Cobra. Cobra is an organization armed with top of the line technology and, apparently, endless resources. They have a gigantic fortress that rests below the Polar Ice Caps and they are in possession of a green matter capable of devouring Paris into oblivion. They attempt to launch an ambiguous scheme to destroy all of the major cities around the world…just for the hell of it, it seems (“Don’t they have any demands?” the U.S. President asks. He never gets an answer). To combat this evil scheme, the Joes create a top secret army consisting of the best soldiers from around the globe, ones who try to create and perfect the same kind of futuristic weapons technology Cobra boasts so cheerfully.

At the film’s opening, we meet Duke (Channing Tatum) and Ripcord (Marlon Wayans), two U.S. soldiers who are recruited by General Hawk (Dennis Quaid) to join the Joes. They join the team, which consists of Scarlet (Rachel Nichols), a brainy and beautiful redhead, Snake Eyes (Ray Park), a silent ninja in a rubber suit, and Cover Girl (Karolina Kurkova), a model turned soldier (seriously!). These soldiers pull out all the stops to go after Cobra, which consists of Destro (Christopher Eccleston), a Scottish arms dealer, Storm Shadow (Byung-hun Lee), a sword-wielding ninja, and the Baroness (Sienna Miller), a sexy femme fatale who has a mysterious history with Duke.

The most fascinating thing about G.I. Joe is how lowbrow this whole enterprise turns out to be. It’s basically a C-movie action flick with A-list values. It’s not hard to imagine a direct-to-DVD Van Damme movie having the same exact plotting. The film was brought to us by Stephen Sommers, who made the first two Mummy films, and those movies feel like Lawrence of Arabia compared to this one. The film is basically wall-to-wall with endless action scenes covered from head-to-toe in loud CGI effects. The good guys pound on the bad guys until only one wins. That’s really the only depth we get. In a time that has seen some rather thoughtful blockbusters, it’s jarring to see such a weightless enterprise like G.I. Joe. Iron Man, for example, taught us that a comic adventure can be effects-heavy fun while also possessing an economy of dramatic weight and significance.

The creation of a G.I. Joe movie was no doubt inspired by the success of the Transformers franchise, which we’re also inspired by a Hasbro toy line and 80s cartoon series. One of the big topics of this summer has been how delusional and soulless Michael Bay must be to think that his Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is actually a good entertainment. Sommers’ work on G.I. Joe helps provide a wonderful counter-argument for Bay’s talents. While Sommers presents his story on a basic cartoon level, Bay plays for higher dramatic depths, even though there’s really none to find. Transformers may be as lightweight as G.I. Joe, but Bay employed every European camera angle and wrung every intense emotion from his cast to make his cartoon universe feel like something significant. Sommers compared his film to Thunderball. Bay compared his to Apocalypse Now. You see where I’m getting at.

Truth be told, by taking the film at its callow, comic-book level, I pretty much enjoyed it. I was a big fan of the cartoon series growing up and I relished this film for touching on the fond and nostalgic memories I hold for these adventures. My 10-year-old self really would’ve loved this film. Watching this film nearly brought me back to those weekday afternoons when I used to plop in front of the TV and watch the Joes and Cobra conduct their absurdly fun battles. One nice thing the film does is take periodical time-outs from the main narrative to provide flashbacks that explain the character’s origins. We see how Duke and the Baroness first met, how Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow were trained by the same master, and how Cobra’s mysterious leader came into creation. G.I. Joe fans are going to eat this up. Those fans are also going to be incredibly delighted to see such a talented cast bringing their childhood heroes to life. Sienna Miller has gone on record stating that the film “is not going to be the best acting work [the film’s cast] has ever done.” She may be right, but this cast certainly embodies their action figure personas to perfection and does a considerable justice to our cartoon memories.

The most interesting performance, and all-around best thing, in this film is Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s portrayal of the complex villain known as Cobra Commander. If you’ve ever read an interview with Gordon-Levitt, then you know how he speaks of his craft like Laurence Olivier and really pushes himself towards dramatic excellence. Well here he is, hamming it up as a goofball Darth Vader and having an absolute ball. The character really does seem like a fun acting exercise, for he goes from nervous soldier to diabolical doctor to over-the-top warlord. Even though most of his performance is shrouded in make-up and a voice synthesizer, Gordon-Levitt’s playful conviction really shines through. Brando used to have the same kind of fun on Hollywood sets. This villainous turn is pretty much worth the price of admission all by itself.

So you’ve been warned. If you like action movies with intelligence, complexity, and deep character development, stay far, far, away from G.I. Joe. If you were in love with the cartoon as a kid and find yourself nostalgic for a silly romp with the Joes and Cobras, you’ll probably have a good time. You’ll either leave the theatre saying, “that was really stupid” or “where can I get a human accelerator suit?”